Self-confidence and detachment



Hi Guys,

I hope that you’ve all had a really great day.

Some time ago I posted an article titled “What do women look for in a man?” and one of the qualities I talked about was Confidence. And this is the focus of this article which I hope will be of benefit to some of you.

We communicate as much if not more through our body language as through verbal communication.

Whether or not you’re consciously aware of it, everything you do communicates some form of status. By being smooth and comfortable you give off a sense of quiet confidence. When you are confident and comfortable in social situations you project that automatically through your body language.

Everybody has confidence issues; it just depends on the task being performed. Self-confidence also varies depending on events and external factors. The lack of self-confidence appear to stem from various causes, however upon closer examination they appear to have a common thread – that of having irrational ideas about yourself.

It is a fact that self-confidence and social skills are just that, SKILLS. While some people appear to be endowed with and be automatically good at those skills, practice can improve your skills too.

Self-confidence is beneficial in both social and professional spheres. Without it you will more than likely miss out on many opportunities to be successful. A lack of self-confidence in the social arena could very well mean missing out on the woman of your life simply because you didn’t have the courage to go up to them and talk to them.

To generate attraction in women you have to have the confidence to talk to them.

To start building up your self-confidence, you will need to accept that you will have to step out of your comfort zone, however if you do that, you will be massively rewarded. Don’t worry you really don’t have to jump in at the deep end straight away.

You can start off by learning to talk to total strangers for instance. You could make small talk with five people you don’t know TODAY. It does not really matter what you talk about and if you don’t know what to say you can always talk about the weather. And remember to smile while talking to them.

Go into shops with women working in them and ask them questions regarding a product or if you are buying something talk to them regarding your purchase. When talking to them, use their name (it will most likely be on their name badge), smile and be friendly. Keep things light and don’t be creepy. (Online shopping is great but it takes away the human element and contact with others).

When walking through a shopping mall or a park, just say “Hi” to people you come across, and once again remember to smile. It does not matter whether they are men or women.

It’s all about stepping out of your comfort zone and making an effort to do so.

You can also boost your confidence by practicing detachment. By this I mean that we give up our attachment to the outcome. We can do this through the acceptance of uncertainty as part of your experience while remaining open to all possibilities.

To practice detachment when approaching a woman is to focus upon what you do rather than what she does. You detach yourself from needing her to be any particular way. You focus on your actions without an attachment to her response to your approach. If you decide in your mind that there is nothing that you want or expect from her (A if it happens, it happens kind of approach to the situation), you will find that her ability to shake your self-confidence is greatly reduced. If you practice a calm, healthy detachment from others, while being friendly and engaging in conversation, you don’t allow their behaviour to determine how you think and feel about yourself.

Don’t deride yourself – ever. Decide to inspire people rather than spending time putting yourself down in front of others. Putting yourself down will never help you to build your self-confidence levels and may even make other people feel uncomfortable around you.

Commit yourself to behaving in a more confident manner as of NOW even if it feels like an act. Do what others such as actors, politicians, musicians, sports stars, and etc do – pretend you’re confident even if you are not. Who will know the difference? I promise not to tell if you don’t.

What makes you think that the woman you approach is not doing the same? Women have the same problems with self-confidence as men. And after all, keep in mind that any negative outcome won’t really affect your life.

You can control what people think about you. It’s not the other way around. And once you realise this your self-confidence will really power up.

So go out there, appreciate who you are, practice talking to others, practice detachment and have some fun attracting and getting the woman or women you want in your life.

I would really like you to comment if you have any thoughts on the above.


Until the next time.

Alain

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Feed Shark

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Fear and the problem with thinking too much

Seduction Secrets For Men


Hi guys,

Today we will approach one of the things that may be hindering you in approaching and seducing beautiful and attractive women – Fear.

Fear is part of our core program. It is helpful for survival by warning us of potential danger. It pumps up your adrenalin and mentally prepares you for to deal with the problem.

The problem lies when we allow fear to breed in our mind, which in turn inhibits our ability to take action.

Fear is all about thoughts. How you think about something determines how you feel about it and whether it is scary or not.

I’m sure that some of you will be able to relate with me

When I have to start something new, something I have never carried out before, I procrastinate, I let my fear overwhelm me and I imagine that I will not be able to do what I have to do. That is because I have to break my personal comfort zone.

And then, once I have done what I have done what I needed to do, I find that it was a lot easier than what I thought.

The same thing occurs when you approach a woman for the first time. You are breaking your personal comfort zone and entering an unknown territory and you fear rejection. Suddenly your brain switches into high gear and starts churning out images of you stuttering, tripping and falling. You see her laughing at you and not with you and you feel the blood drain from your head, you feel butterflies in your stomach and your palms start to sweat.

Fear is conquering you.

But will those things you fear actually happen.

An accumulation of negative thoughts flows into your mind causing the fear to snowball into a huge issue. And the funny thing about fear is that the vast majority of the things we fear and worry about don’t come true. This means that all the time spent worrying and fearing something that is most probably not going to happen is actually wasted.

The word fear can be deciphered as False Evidence Appearing Real.

When those negative images start appearing in your mind… STOP! Control your thoughts and visualise a positive outcome. See her smiling at you, responding positively to you and dancing with you. I am sure that you can fill your own positive thoughts for any scenario you come across.

Too much thinking and inaction allows fear to breed in your mind. Action is the Key to your salvation. Therefore, whenever you want to do something that is outside your comfort zone, don’t let fear have time to breed, just do it. Act upon it, look fear in the face and do the things you think you cannot do. Actions are the seeds to your success.

“Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage. If you want to conquer fear, do not sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy.”

– Dale Carnegie

You will learn from the experience and be able to deal with that fear the next time with more confidence and strength. Doing the things you fear, conquers that fear and turns it into part of your comfort zone.

I would really like you to comment if you have any thoughts on the above.

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Until the next time.

Alain

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