The ‘Bad Boy’, the ‘Nice Guy’ and the ‘Alpha Male’


Hi Guys,

In a previous article I talked about what women look for in a man.  One of the qualities I talked about was that of a high status or alpha male.

Another thing I talked about in another post was that because women are hard wired to follow their emotional thoughts and feelings… that was why so many women fell for the same jerks. Even when their logical brain are telling them that they’ll be cheated on, that they’ll be messed around and that they will be better off with the nice guy, they can’t help but seek out the excitement, the alpha male, the bad boy.

Now I should make a distinction here.  Women and guys for that matter confuse the two, the bad boy and the alpha male.

Let us look at some of the traits that the so-called bad boys have:

He doesn’t care about what others think of him;

  • He appears to be socially dominant and will try to control circumstances to make sure that others consider him as an important and high value person;
  • He tends to overcompensate with his body language by swaggering when he walks and trying to appear laid back;
  • He appears to be aggressive, conceited and very egocentric;
  • He seems to have a disregard for rules in general, appears to live by his rules and may act recklessly; and
  • He will treat women in a mocking manner and will do things to deliberately push her buttons to see how far he can go.

The so-called bad boys have their own set of insecurities and tries to compensate for them by trying to prove how tough he is and acting like a jerk.

The so-called bad boys are mostly adolescent at heart. They are loud and boisterous tend to have a gang or posse with them.   Once you remove the so-called bad boy from the pack or catch him on his own he often becomes meek and mild especially when confronted by a real alpha male.

These traits look darn right unappealing when written down, but for some reason, a lot of women respond positively to them.  The main reason for this is that women in general like being around men who make them feel safe and when they are around the so-called bad boy, they don’t have to worry because he appears to be in control.

It’s not as though women seek out bad boys on purpose; it’s just that in the absence of positive masculinity, they would rather have the above than the meekness of most nice guys.

So what has the above got to do with you, you may ask?  Well, we will be looking at the exaggerated traits adopted and demonstrated by the bad boys so that we can extract and adapt it for our use.

What we do not want to do is go to the other extreme to that of the so-called ‘nice guy’.

Whatever you do you do not want to be considered a ‘nice guy’ by women.  Let me explain by what I mean by ‘nice guy’ here.

More often than not the ‘nice guy’ is riddled with insecurities and believe me it shows.  He tries hard to hide his insecurities but his efforts, more often than not, draws attention to them instead.  Because of his insecurities he tries too hard to please her.   He buys her flowers, pays for the dates, runs errands and does pretty much everything she wants him to do.   His anxiety to please and be good to her poses no challenge to her.  She knows exactly how he will react and because of that she will loose interest very quickly.

A woman needs a man to be masculine and the traits of the nice guy are anything but masculine.  In fact he desperately need to “man up”.

Women like the chase and the ‘nice guy’ is just too much of an easy “kill”.

It is for that reason that women seek out the bad boys on purpose, she needs a man to be masculine and in the absence of positive masculinity, they would rather have the negative type over the timidity of the ‘nice guy’.

You probably think that this puts you between a rock and a hard place and may even wonder what you should do.

The answer is rather simple; what you need to do is to seek out is some kind of middle ground.

And if the description of the nice guy above struck a chord with you don’t let it faze you.  This is what you can do to re-align yourself towards becoming a high status or alpha male.

As mentioned previously being a high status or alpha male has more to do about your attitude and behavior rather than money or appearance.  You project it in the way you walk and move with deliberate and focused actions.

So let us take a look at the exaggerated traits of the bad boy and extract and refine them to suit us:

  • You have a strong sense of identity.  You know who you are without being too serious or protective over it.  It all boils down to being comfortable in your own skin and you project this in everything you say and do.  Believe in yourself, and cultivate your own brand of self-confidence.
  • You are socially skillful and know how to make people feel good without controlling them or manipulating them.
  • You don’t pander to the wants and requests of women just because they’re attractive or merely because they’ve shown a mild interest in you.  You’re not trying to win her approval but will show her a fun and exciting time if she is up for it.  You’ve got a price tag on yourself, a kind of ‘unattainability’ and ‘doesn’t seem to give a damn’ attitude that is so key to appearing to be high value to women.
  • You are not afraid to call a woman out when she has obviously crossed the line.  You treat the women decently as long as she doesn’t pull anything on you like acting a brat or flaking out. You certainly don’t reward her bad behavior. However, you reward her good behaviour and appreciate the time you spend together.
  • You demonstrate confident body language that shows no signs of anxiety or self-consciousness. You’ve got nothing to prove and nothing to deny.
  • You’re relaxed about social rules because you’re socially confident. You’re non-reactive. You get on with your own stuff.
  • You exhibit your manliness in a positive way with confidence, integrity and assertiveness.

You are not perfect.  But who is?

Women like their men to be mysterious and unpredictable so that she has to put efforts in making him hers

That’s how you stand out as being truly, naturally attractive.

Women LOVE this.

Until the next time.

Alain

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