The end game of dating; choosing your life’s mate

“Choose Your Life’s Mate carefully. From this one decision will come ninety percent of all your happiness or misery” -H. Jackson Brown Jr.


“ “The only thing worse than being alone is being with the wrong person” Reuben Schmidt, 89 years old—happily married to Joyce Schmidt for 53 years.


Look around you. What do you feel when you see couples that are wonderfully happy together?


Happy and joyful couples bless everyone they come in contact with. They uplift those they are around by their loving connection.


On the other hand I am sure that you know what it feels like to be around couples who are unhappy and in conflict. It is difficult to be around them and they pull the energy down around them.


Couples positively or negatively affect their families, the community they live in and the world at large.


As people have become more conscious about themselves they have also become more conscious about the kind of partner they are looking for.


Rather than making decisions based on superficial qualities – he’s attractive, she makes good money – people are starting to look deeper as to what they want in a partnership. I see many individuals as well as with couples who are struggling within their relationship because of basic incompatibility – they should never have been together to begin with.


I hear from people that they knew on their wedding day that they were making a mistake and years later they were struggling to make something work that was unworkable from the start.


It takes courage to look at a relationship with clear honesty and say – “This is not going to be a good match for me in the long run”.  It is best to make this decision early on because the consequences of waiting get greater and greater purely because if you do get married to a person that is wrong for you there is the pain of divorce and if there are kids involved there is even more pain. Or if you are in a long term relationship – the pain of separation is considerably higher after having your lives so intertwined.


There are various aspects that point towards whether a person is ready to meet their life partner.  Amongsth them are the following:


–          Are all of the areas of their life working for them; and

–          Have they addressed the emotional issues from past relationships?


You also have to have a reasonably good idea about what you are looking for in a partner and conciously move towards finding the right person.  And then you have to be clear in your own mind that you are ready for a committed relationship.  You also have to where and how you are most likely to meet your potential life partner and how you are going to attract them.  Ultimately it means effectively meeting people, developing networks and sorting the likely candidates.


Don’t forget that the other person is more than likely doing the same even if it is at a subconscious level.


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Blind Dates

Hi Guys,

I hope that you’ve all had a really great day.

Blind dates are quite common. A blind date is simply a date that has been set up by a third party, normally a friend or colleague.

The friend or colleague setting up the blind date more often than not knows both parties and set up the date because they believe that they would make a great couple.

If a friend of yours recommends that you go on a blind date don’t dismiss it out of hand although it would depend on who my friend is and what their taste in the opposite sex is.

I would also question their motives for seeting you up on a blind date.

If your friend or colleague knows the other person as well as they know you, and they feel that you may be a good match, they may be right and you may get along just fine.

The problem with going on a blind date is that you have absolutely no idea what the other person looks like. You are lucky if you were shown a recent picture of your blind date beforehand.

The fact still remains that the person you will be going out on this date will be someone that you have never met or spoken to before.

Before you go out on the blind date you should try to get as much information as you can regarding the other person. Hopefully your friend or colleague knows the other person well enough to be able to able to supply you with this information. The date is less likely to turn into a disaster the more you know about the other person.

Most people I know are quite nervous about going on a blind date. After all you have no inkling whether you will hit it off and whether they will like you or more crucially whether you will like them.

Let’s face it but to me life is a fascinating journey of never-ending discovery and because of that I treat blind dates as an adventure.

In fact some people enjoy being set up on a blind date.

The success of a blind date is to a large extent dependant on your attitude and approach to the date. And if the right person set you up your blind date could turn into a successful relationship.

Even if the two of you decide that you are not compatible as a couple during the date all is not lost because you may have met someone who could become a very good friend in the long run.

As always, I wish you everything I wish myself.

Until the next time.


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