Eliminating the fear of the approach



Hi Guys,


I hope that you’ve all had a really great day.

In my last two posts I talked about the reasons “Why Average Guys End Up Dating Average Girls”. Those reasons were as diverse as the fear of rejection, the fear of exposure, excessive shyness, low self esteem, procrastination, being clueless on what do or say, performance anxiety and the fear of embarrassment.

When you sit back and consider the above-mentioned reasons they play themselves out in your mind. In this post we will try to eliminate some of those fears so that you will find it easier to approach and talk to the women you are attracted to.

Even the guys that appear confident and self assured can find the act of walking up to, and striking up a conversation with, an attractive woman, let alone a group of women, extremely daunting.

This is known as the ‘opening’ and is one of the biggest obstacle guys have in their interaction with the opposite sex especially when it comes with the goal of attracting them.

The reason for this is not hard to see. After all, approaching and striking up a conversation with a woman would appear to come with a considerable amount of risk and therefore requires a considerable effort on your part.

So why do men have trouble approaching and striking up a conversation with a woman? Well, although we touched on some of the reasons in previous posts let us take another look?

Firstly, they are scared of being shot down in flames, rejected and made a fool of by the woman they approach.

Then, because they have approached the girl with the ulterior motive of picking her up, they think that the girl will see through their approach and be totally unenthusiastic about having something like a normal, enjoyable conversation with them.

Some of the guys worry that after a few minutes of conversation they won’t have anything to say, standing there with a mouth full of teeth. The reason this may happen is that they could be thinking way too much about what to say next instead of listening to her so that they can respond appropriately.

They also worry that after a few minutes in her presence they will loose whatever courage they mustered, start to unravel and loose the plot.

Most guys know that to pick up a woman successfully requires more than just approaching and opening. Instead of enjoying the woman’s company they start to think about the other stages of seduction and worry about how the will achieve them. They worry whether they will be able to close at the end of the conversation and get her phone number or get a date with her.

They also worry whether any of the other guys in the vicinity may encroach upon and thwart their attempt to pick up the woman.

Some guys will worry about how their attempt at picking the woman up may look to others. Even though nobody is looking at them they feel as though they are under a microscope, with every move they make analysed. And the funny thing is that they are not wrong in this aspect because they are the ones thinking and analysing their own moves.

There are other reasons why guys fear the approach and opening but they all fall in similar categories of the ones listed above.

They mainly relate to thinking too much and relate to their deep-seated fear of being ridiculed in front of others and rejection.

In my next post we will look at ways to sidestep your fear of approaching and opening to an attractive and vivacious woman and do so effectively whenever and
wherever you want to.


I would really appreciate your comment on the above.



As always, I wish you everything I wish myself.



Until the next time.



Alain


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How To Tell If Your Ex Girlfriend Wants To Get Back With You

Author: Albert Nel

Is your ex girlfriend spending more time with you, calling just to chat, maybe even flirting and reminding you of great memories you shared? If this is the case you might be pleasantly surprised to know she wants you back. But before we run away with that thought, lets first make sure we have all the facts straight.

Over the years these have become some sure signs that your ex girlfriend might be thinking of getting back with you again. But even if this may so, you should never just throw yourself at her in a desperate attempt to seize the possibility. The best way will always be to play hard-to-get in the right amounts as this will only increase the attraction she feels towards you. If you just jump into it you seriously risk pushing your ex girlfriend away further than ever before.

It is normal to feel that empty hole of missing your ex after a break up. Your ex will most likely feel the exact same way because you have been torn from her lives as well. This holds especially true if the relationship was around one year or longer. Just by the simple fact of all the memories you share, your ex will not be able to help but also miss you.

I have to put a warning here. Unfortunately ex girlfriends have been known to only act interested to play with you and see what they can get out of you. Some people just like the thrill of getting attention and knowing that you still love them. So unless you are absolutely convinced that your ex is real with you, it might just be her way of stirring up some drama until the next guy comes along. That is why I say you should be careful not to jump the gun, but rather first make sure about the situation and then act on it.

After years of helping guys it’s unfortunate to say that this happens a lot. Therefore you are the only one who really has a feel for the situation and will be able to tell what’s really going on. That is why I recommend playing hard-to-get now. If your ex girlfriend just played games with your heart and wasn’t serious about getting back together, you have protected yourself by not committing to anything. On the other hand, if she really wants to get back together, you will only be increasing the attraction which will eventually make her send out some pretty intense signals that she truly wants to be back with you.

——

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Article Source: http://www.articlealley.com/article_820973_35.html

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